A Gift in the Sand

I know, it’s been awhile…

This blog has been virtually dead for months, with not a single new word written since before Christmas. I’d like to say I’ve been so busy I haven’t had the chance to write, but that’s only partly true. While I have been busy, I haven’t been so busy that I couldn’t take a few minutes to post something here. I just kept not-doing it.

As more time went by, I found it harder and harder to get started, for it seemed like some acknowledgment of my absence would be in order before anything else, and I just didn’t know where to start.

I didn’t lack subject matter – I had several topics to write on. I didn’t lack motivation – several times I earnestly made stretch goals to get a post done by a certain date. But despite this, nothing got written.

What I lacked was inspiration. I got it today.

It’s Easter Sunday, and though I started the day off in a good way by Skyping with a certain lovely British-American living in Canada, the rest of my day was spent alone – and, somewhat lonely.

No kids today, no family nearby, no plans other than household tasks and chores to do – just another weekend day here, though it’s a holiday everywhere else.  As I commenced the day, echoes of Easters past filled my head, and a sadness descended.

I lingered on the memories: my kids enthusiastically hunting for brightly colored eggs in the backyard, pure joy and delight on their little faces; the family gathered together at my house for my awesome-and-I-don’t-mind-saying-so-myself homemade carnitas feast that had become a tradition over the years; music and flowers and all things sweet.

Meanwhile, the sun was shining, but none entered my heart.

I’m a spiritual man, not a religious man, and I appreciate this holiday from all perspectives. I was not called to a church, though I could have gone to one if I’d chosen. I was not called to visit friends, though I could have done that too, if I’d wanted to. Lately, I have recognized my tendency to want to resist the sadness that accompanies the occasional bouts of loneliness I experience; rushing to be with others would have only served to resist that sadness that was trying to express itself. So I chose to remain alone today and just be in the sadness.

I have a lot of items on my “to-do list”, but none of them sounded worthy of such a nice, sunny day, so I threw some stuff into a backpack and got in my car, with no clear destination in mind. Anything in the sunshine would do. I thought sunshine would help as I sat in this sadness and let it pass.

I ended up at the beach. And that’s where I found my inspiration.

These flowers were incredibly fragrant, and, mixed with scent of the sea air, the effect was nearly intoxicating.

Someone had placed this lovely cross adorned with flowers in the sand.

As I mentioned, I do not subscribe to one particular religion — I believe there is a God big enough to be seen from many paths. Yet I know that the cross is incredibly significant for a lot of people, just as nature is incredibly significant for a lot of people. And since our Easter practices have a blending of religious and pagan traditions, I thought this gift that was placed in the sand seemed like a beautiful merging of symbols, and the intent behind it touched my heart.

Whatever beliefs one holds about this day, if one tried to find a unifying thread in them, I think “a re-birth of Love” would fit. At least, it fits for me.

I took a picture of the gift in the sand, and decided that I needed to share it – it’s too pretty not to share. But then, I was inspired — there it is! — to write a quick blog post about it. It would be an opportunity to return to my blog without the need for a long, drawn-out explanation of where the hell I’ve been and what the hell I’ve been doing.

When I thought of finally getting back to my blog, I felt joy. Sunshine meets heart, and a smile appears. My sadness had passed.

In a symbolic way, this gorgeous Sunday saw the re-birth of this blog. Do I believe I was “meant” to be there at that beach to see this and get that inspiration? I don’t know – I don’t think I’m that important. But did it help me? Sure it did. And I don’t mind thanking God for that.

As I walked across the sand toward my car, the words of St. Francis popped into my head:

“…for it is by self-forgetting that one finds; it is by forgiving that one is forgiven; it is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.”

For some reason, those words resonate with me strongly today. I share them here in the spirit of Love reborn.

Blessings to you, wherever you are ~

7 thoughts on “A Gift in the Sand

  1. Happy re-birth of love day! I love reading your posts, wherever, whenever, however, they come, no explanations or justifications needed here. So glad your writing brought you joy today.. 🙂

  2. It is wonderful to have your words, inspiration and heart fill the screen of my iPad today. Thank you for the gift that you are. And thank you for bringing your ideas to life.

  3. Beautiful. Sitting with the sadness, that resonates with me, and even more the gold you found by sitting through it! With no (blood) family in LA, I’ve been feeling lonely today as well. This brought a smile 🙂

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