Yeah, We Can Hear You Now

Walking into a restaurant the other evening, my friends and I found ourselves entering behind a man and a woman engaged in a heated discussion. Or rather, the woman was engaged in a heated monologue.

“If they fucking try to charge me for that I’m gonna fucking go off,” she exclaimed. “Fuck Verizon!”

Her male companion said nothing and stopped to open the door for her. The woman walked unsteadily, not as if intoxicated, but almost as though she was not practiced at walking in high heels. She was easily a size 24 squeezed into what was likely a size 16 dress that appeared to have been a holdover from someone’s wedding — yes, a bridesmaid dress. The woman appeared to be wearing a bridesmaid dress, with the full glory of her back tattoo on display for all to see. “Angel”, it read across the back of her neck, visible because her hair was swept up in a formal ‘do, presumably for the wedding she just left.

As she carried herself through the entrance, she continued to rail against the wireless company. “I mean it, Fuck Verizon, their service is for shit, this phone is a piece of fucking shit and I’m just fucking sick of dealing with them! Fuck them!” This, as she is standing at the “Please Wait to Be Seated” sign.

Her companion said nothing still, and held up two fingers to the hostess who approached them with a mixture of fear and disdain. The hostess grabbed two menus off the stand and showed them to their table. 

But we heard her exclaim, as she strode out of sight, “I don’t care who fucking hears me! I’m fucking pissed! Those assholes!” When they rounded the corner to the dining room, the rest of her diatribe was lost. We were blessedly seated in the opposite direction.

I have no idea what could have caused this woman to be so upset with Verizon. My experience with them as a consumer was always favorable – they have excellent coverage and more than helpful customer service. I admit it’s been a while since I was a customer of theirs, but still – what could they have done to anger this woman so?

It occurred to me later that Verizon didn’t “do” anything. This woman — any woman who walked into a restaurant, ranting and raving about ANYTHING in such a manner —  has anger management issues. Period. And no amount of hair styling and dressing up is going to change that. You can doll it up and take it out, but rage is still ugly.

My friends and I had a good laugh, though. Whether we were laughing more at the cries of “Fuck Verizon!” or the irony of the “Angel” tatt across her back, I’m not sure. But I wonder how her boyfriend enjoyed his dinner. Or the acid reflux that likely followed…

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